Here we go again…
I remember when I had a Livejournal. Same basic concept really. Most people I knew who had one would try to post detailed events in their lives, or detailed extrapolations of their thought processes…. presumably all in the hopes that somebody would read them.
… I used to post many many photos of trees. I used to post photos of trees and repeatedly announce that I liked trees… And then I would post cat pictures. Pictures of other peoples’ cats. Angry cats usually.
I did it mostly in mockery of Livejournal itself as a concept… but at another level I just kinda wanted attention. They called me an attention-whore, but it wasn’t like anyone was paying me. More it was the point that it expanded my options from “be ignored” …. to “be ignored” or “annoy people”. And in my desire not to fade out of existence due to everyone forgetting about me, I deemed it more appropriate to just have fun spamming up Livejournal with silly pictures.
… That was at least until I lost interest in that.
And now I’m somewhere else…. in a slightly different situation.
But one thing is the same:
I stopped being annoying, and everyone just…. well…. ignored me. Let me fade away.
This time I figured I’d try a new approach. I cut myself off from the avenues of unwarranted ignoring.
Instead I am here…. talking to myself.
Unlike before I’m not trying to get attention and not expecting attention.
I’m talking to myself because I’m the only one who will listen to myself.
It kinda works… but it isn’t very cathartic…